Sunday, February 28, 2010

personal statement.

My friend Katy is in OT school at UAB. Friday night, I helped her put the finishing touches on her "personal statement" for her resume and what not. For the past few days, I've started thinking about the whole idea of a "personal statement" and what it would look like for me to write my own. There is something about writing down your vision, heart and hope for life that makes it a little more real and gives you that "UMPH!" to put the pen down and daydreams to rest and JUST DO IT.

These are just a few of the questions I'm asking myself:

What am I passionate about? What makes my heart beat fast?

What is the "thing" inside of me I long to pour out on others? How?

What's the vision that has been cast on my heart?

What am I afraid of? What stand in the way and tempts me to compromise or settle?

How can my carrying out this vision affect the lives of others?

What experiences in my life have helped shape my vision and equipped me?

How can I funnel my experiences, gifts and passions?

What is my motivating force?

What's the big picture?

What do I desire to give myself fully to that I may journey down the "long road of obedience in the same direction?" (that idea/quote came from one of my favorite books "Red Moon Rising" )

Lots of broad questions that have resulted in more questions and many pages of ink...and counting.

What about you? What would be in your personal statement?

Saturday, February 27, 2010

the long way home.

I love to get lost...well, sort of. Really, I just love to skip the left turn into my neighborhood some afternoons and just keep going, and somedays...I get lost. There's always an element of anticipation, and perhaps fear that takes the passenger seat whenever I venture past the city limit signs and find myself in a place I've never been. There have been times I knew I should probably turn around...(this is Montgomery, you know) Other times, I have found places I like to believe are places only I know. The days I get lost in thought and possibility and the spontaneity of the "shuffle" setting on my iPhone and end up in some place where the Maps App becomes necessary are quite simply...the best.

On busier days, I may journey only as far as the loop that runs around my neighborhood - what I called in my younger days, "the long way home". Somedays at just the right moment, I may catch the sun before it sinks to sleep behind the trees at the lake in the back of my neighborhood to remind me that ah yes, this is my favorite part of the day. Sometimes, I may see a flock of birds I can't identify take flight or a little boy and his dad fishing. It may be that simple, but it's always a surprise. I've found you never know what snapshot of grace or what moment of wonder and awe (even in the small things) you may experience when you take the long way home.

That's how this life is. We are indeed taking the long way home. It's always a surprise. Always nudging us to our final destination. Step by step, stride by stride. We never really have clarity, but we can have the one thing that keeps us walking and looking up - trust in the God who is leading. And there is inside my heart the same anticipation that accompanies this "journey" as well. During the last 6 months I have felt something new, something deeper. There is a longing in my soul I first attributed to something I had yet to find, but with the help of Romans 8 and C.S. Lewis, the Holy Spirit helped me identify this longing as none other than what Lewis called the "inconsolable longing". It's the product of what happens when we find God- really find Him and rest in Him...his glory, his goodness, his love his mercy...and can't get enough - all on the long way home.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

not my words (but i wish they were)

"I am no longer anxious about anything as I realize this, for He, I know, is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest position He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult His grace is sufficient...So if God should place me in great perplexity, must He not give me much guidance, in positions of great difficulty much grace, in circumstances of great pressure and trial much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me!"
-Hudson Taylor
pioneering missionary to China -1800's
"Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret" by Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor

Thursday, February 18, 2010

empty space.

Life right now is not what I thought it would be, yet it is what it is. I am still living in Montgomery, still working as an editorial assistant/writer at my dad's publishing company and still looking/praying/wondering what's next and when whatever "it" is will show itself. All that to say, it is a daily struggle for me to choose to live in the inbetween joyfully and wholeheartedly.

I've been asking God the same things for a long time, and yesterday I was reminded through His word that He hears...and He knows. "And God heard their groaning...God saw His people-and God knew." Exodus 2:24,25

{ Deep breath } He knows. He hears. He's coming. He's already here.

Thankfulness and expectation. Blessing Him and listening to Him. Delighting in Him and simply resting in His presence. This is what He desires of His people...regardless of circumstances.

I believe God will be glorified. Even if it means saying, "Yes, Lord" and choosing to live, not just exist, in what seems like empty space. For it is the empty places He desires to fill.